Spontaneous Generosity

gen·er·ous adjective (of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected. "she was generous with her money" synonyms: liberal, lavish, magnanimous, munificent, giving, openhanded, free-handed, bountiful, unselfish, ungrudging, free, indulgent, prodigal; More antonyms: mean, stingy showing kindness toward others. "it was generous of them to ask her along" synonyms: magnanimous, kind, benevolent, altruistic, charitable, noble, big-hearted, honorable, good; More antonyms: mean, selfish (of a thing) larger or more plentiful than is usual or necessary. "a generous sprinkle of pepper" synonyms: lavish, plentiful, copious, ample, liberal, large, great, abundant, profuse,bumper, opulent, prolific; More antonyms: meager

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” - Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love)

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” - John Bunyan (author of Pilgrim's Progress)

Growing up in Christian circles you hear a lot about charity, tithing, giving to the church, and supporting missionaries. As a child, you're encouraged from a young age to bring your coins to put in the offering basket. As an adult, you're told to tithe 10% of your income. You dutifully write your check and stick it in a box, never giving a second thought as to where it goes or who it helps. I grew up watching my parents dutifully contribute to the church from their meager income.

I didn't like it. Not that I think churches shouldn't have members contribute to keep them running, or that missionaries shouldn't be supported. Charities are great too, don't get me wrong. That's just too impersonal for me. 

As I've mentioned, I didn't grow up with a lot. I remember trips to the food pantry, resale shops for clothes, etc. Even one of our cars was given to us. Some of it I remember with shame and embarrassment. I didn't like being "the poor kid" with hand-me-down clothes. I hated being the charity case all of the time, but I will say that I deeply appreciated the generosity of friends. One time, my 5th-grade Sunday school class was going on a girls' shopping trip to the mall. I couldn't go because we didn't have extra money. One of my teachers gave me cash to spend so I could participate. When I was in junior high, two older girls from the high school group bought me brand-new clothes from Old Navy. That was the first time I had beautiful new clothes from a department store. One year, we only had Christmas due to the generosity of another friend.

Now that I'm an adult with kids of my own, I appreciate those moments even more. I can imagine how hard that must have been for my parents. We've spent our fair share of scraping and scrimping with three children. We still have times of want accompanied with times of plenty.

I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about tithing (or charity, for those of my friends who aren't religious). No matter what your religious creed is, giving shouldn't be perfunctory. Regularly donating money to a charity or giving your weekly/monthly time to the local food bank to gain brownie points with God (or the Universe or whatever) misses the mark. I think it needs to be more spontaneous and intentional. For me, it could be taking someone dinner, driving a friend to the grocery store, giving away my kids' out-grown clothes, cleaning someone's house, babysitting for free, or buying groceries for a friend who's in a tight spot. The point is, I know where my time and resources are going and that person knows they're loved. I take the time to know what people's needs are and try my best to help out. Sometimes I do contribute to friends' mission trips. (I also get a huge kick out of paying for the person behind me in the Starbucks drive-through. Seeing the look of surprise is just priceless.) 

People need to experience generosity on a personal level and know that there is still goodness in the world. So instead of just donating a little money or time to earn your "good person brownie points," make some effort to give personally and without expectations. Be creative. Be intentional. Be spontaneous.

Triple Chocolate Cheesecake Bites

(S) for THM

"Fauxreo" Crust

1 1/2 C almond flour
1/4 C + 1 Tb cocoa powder (unsweetened)
1/4 tsp sea salt
5 Tb coconut oil (or 4 Tb butter, unsalted)
3 Tb organic maple syrup or honey (or your preferred sweetener)

Blend ingredients together with a fork until incorporated. Put 1/2 Tb of "dough" into each cupcake liner and flatten until it covers the bottom. Bake at 325 for about 5 minutes.

Cheesecake Filling

2 (8 oz) pkgs cream cheese (or neufchâtel)
1/2 C non-fat Greek yogurt, plain
1/3 C maple syrup or honey (or equivalent sweetener)
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 C cocoa powder
1/2 tsp sea salt

Soften cream cheese and beat on medium speed. Add remaining ingredients and beat together until smooth.

Pour about 1/4 C of filling into each cupcake liner.

Before placing cheesecakes into oven, place a large dish of water on the bottom rack. Bake cheesecakes at 325 for 15-18 minutes, until tops are "springy." Cool for 15 minutes before setting in the fridge for an hour.

Chocolate Ganache Topping

1 1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips (try for 85%+ cacao)
1/4 C (or more) half & half


While cheesecakes are cooling, take a medium saucepan and fill 1/2 with water. Place a small-medium glass bowl on top and fill with chocolate chips and half&half.

Bring water to a boil, stirring the chocolate chips constantly until melted. Bring stovetop to a low temp, careful not to overheat the chocolate (it will burn and start to crystallize).

Pour about 1 Tb of ganache on top of each cheesecake and spread.

Put back in the fridge for at least 1 hr (overnight is better, but good luck waiting that long).

My phone rang. It was past 9:00 pm, a little strange for someone to be calling me at this hour on a Monday night. It was my dad.

"Have you heard about your grandmother yet?"

Oh great. I was preparing myself for another she-caught-her-microwave-on-fire story. (She's 87 and lives alone, four houses down from my parents. Her eyesight, memory, hearing, etc. are failing her, so the accident stories I get become increasingly worse.)

"Did she catch her house on fire?" I asked reluctantly.

"No, she's in the hospital." My heart sank. It was just an upper-respiratory infection, but when you're in your late 80s it is a lot harder to fight when your body is already failing. Her white blood cell count was 25,000. In addition, she was severely dehydrated and they were pumping her full of IV fluids. According to my mom, she'd been sleeping constantly for the last few weeks and refused/forgot to eat or drink.

I managed to get to the hospital last night after my husband finished work and the kids were in bed. The room was silent and dimly lit. I slipped in quietly. My grandmother was fitfully asleep, pulling her blankets closer to her chin to keep warmer. Her cheeks were more sunken than I remembered. She looked so frail and thin. I gently kissed her warm forehead. Her eyes flew open and she let out a happy little "Oh!"

For the next thirty minutes, she delighted in looking at pictures my children had colored for her, flowers and a scented candle I had brought, and we looked at videos and photos of the kids on my phone. The nurse came in to check her blood pressure and temperature. My grandmother wanted to show her (and everyone else who came in the room that night) pictures of "her babies." She chattered on excitedly for a while about my three kids and how she was getting another great-grandbaby this Spring.

As the night progressed, she became less coherent and didn't talk as much because it hurt for her to breathe and talk. I continued to talk to her, telling her about our plans for our next home and some of the features that I wanted, one of which was a large covered patio in the back yard for cookouts.

"Oh, I hope I'm around for that," she whispered, "but if not, I'll be watching from Heaven and enjoying it with you."

My throat tightened. "You'll be there," I assured her. As it got closer to 11:00, I pulled my chair closer to her bed and sat quietly, waiting for my mom to arrive. I watched her slow, shallow breathing. It was hard to believe that she was travelling around Israel just seven short years ago.

Thankful For....

I don't normally do the "I'm thankful for" posts on Facebook, not because I'm ungrateful.... I'm just really inconsistent. However, I did want to try this year, so I've got 18 days to catch up on now...

#1) Derek. Intentionally or not, he has always been what I needed and exactly when I needed him. I would not be who I am today without this man. He never backs down and never gives up... which can be infuriating at times, but God knew I needed someone who was more stubborn than me. I love how he gives everything 110%. I'm so thankful he is committed to being a good father to our children and incredibly thankful he's stuck by me all these years... even at times when I wasn't being very loveable.

#2) Caden. You made me a mom and gave me a backbone. I had no idea how much I could love someone until you came along.  You have such a sensitive heart and I love that about you. You may cry a lot more than the average boy, but I've never seen a little boy who loves babies and animals as much as you do. You have a rare nurturing personality and I hope you continue to keep it. You have remarkable communication skills and empathy towards others. You're a natural leader. I often refer to you as my "sheep dog." You're always herding your younger siblings and trying to keep them out of trouble. I love to watch you build and create things. All we have to do is hand you some blocks and wooden tracks and you create elaborate "cities" complete with buildings and roads. I can't wait to see how you apply this talent as you grow older.

#3) Riley. I have to admit I wasn't thrilled at first when I discovered I was pregnant with you. Your brother was only 9 months and I was terrified of going through childbirth again and having kids so close together. You helped me get over that fear. You were my easiest pregnancy, labor, and delivery. You were my easiest and happiest baby. Your first nickname was "Smiley Riley." As a toddler (and now almost 3-year-old) you have kept us on our toes because you are always getting into things you shouldn't, but your happy nature and dimpled smile make you irresistible. I am impressed by your natural inclination towards electronics and things with wires, buttons, etc. I have a feeling you'll be just like your daddy. You're already like a tiny carbon-copy of him.

#4) Maddie. My precious little rosebud. I never thought we'd get a little girl. When we went in for a sonogram I was already resigned to a third boy, but when the doctor said you were a girl I was incredulous. It didn't really sink in until they laid you in my arms... perfect, with a little button nose, rosy cheeks, and thick dark hair. You grow more beautiful every day. You make everyone smile with your sweet, friendly personality and gorgeous blue eyes. Watching your personality develop is so much fun... and you certainly have plenty of it. You're already bossing your brothers around and make sure you're the loudest thing in the room. Daddy and I love how cuddly and loving you are.

#5) Dave has always been my big brother hero. Most teenage brothers wouldn't pay much attention to their little sisters (and brothers), but some of my best childhood memories involved him. He's the most generous person I know and he's always there when I need help (and even when I don't think I need it). He's going to be such an awesome dad and I can't wait to see his little girl grow up with such an awesome daddy.

#6) Jer. Ever since we were little, he's been my partner in crime and my best friend. Even though we're busy adults now, we can still hang out and watch movies or laugh at really stupid inside jokes that no one else gets. Jeremy still possess the ability to make me laugh harder than anyone. Can't wait to see what the future holds for him and I'm so proud of the man he's become.

#7) Lindsay. You were my first sister-in-law, and I have to say I was really excited that we'd be family. You were so accepting of me when I joined your family, even though the circumstances weren't perfect. I don't know if I've ever told you how much I appreciate that.

#8) Yoli. You are the most perfect fit for Dave and our family. You add a calm balance to our crazy and slightly dysfunctional circus. I love being able to go have fun with you and talk to you about anything. And I love that you are also a Hello Kitty fan... sounds silly, I know, but it's fun to have a sister-in-law to go gaga over HK stuff with me.

#9) My mama. We haven't always seen eye-to-eye or gotten along, but I love how our relationship is now. You're there for me 24/7 when I need help or advice and I appreciate you a lot more now that I have kids of my own. I feel like I understand you a lot better now.

#10) Daddy. I have to say I also understand you better now that I've got my own kids. You worked so hard to provide for us when we were little and I am so grateful for that. You are the most patient and long-suffering person I have ever known. In my entire 26 years of existence, I have only ever heard you raise your voice once (I totally deserved it, too).

Ok, someone's trying to kill the cat. I'll have to come back and finish later.

ThanksGIVING

It's my favorite time of year. From October-December, I get three separate holidays to enjoy with my family. Pumpkins, costumes, a foodie's dream feast, presents, music, lit trees. Best of all, we get a break from the Texas heat and get to wear sweaters, scarves & boots!

As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach us, I can't help but plan menus and presents. We're finally getting to a point in our lives where finances are starting to ease up and I can breathe easier around the holidays. For years we've had a meager Christmas budget. I have to confess this depressed me. It seemed no matter how hard we worked, we just couldn't get ahead. (Having three kids back-to-back drains more than just your energy.)

A friend of mine told me about how she saves up money every year to go out to dinner and bless their server with an extra-large tip during the Christmas season. That really made me think. Here I was all excited to get the kids bigger and better presents this year, and I hadn't thought much about teaching them why we celebrate this holiday season. We may feel like we've finally "arrived," but now my goal is NOT to go crazy. We'll get the kids a few presents each and probably make presents for our grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. to keep it simple. I really want to teach our kids from a young age to give. Caden, our oldest, is getting old enough now to really learn about giving and helping others. What I really want to do with him is set aside some money to bless another family and have him help me shop for them.

A lot of people give to charities over the holidays or participate in "Operation Christmas Child" and the like, but I like to give on a more personal level. When I was a kid, my family didn't have a lot. There were many times when we survived on the charity of others, and more than one Christmas was had because someone else blessed us. I'd like to do the same. At this point, I don't know how much we can do, or even who the Lord will lay on our hearts, but I'm hoping that we can bless someone else like I was once (or twice, or more).

"Freedom From Fear"

Standing at a crossroads,
Unsure where to stand;
I am a stranger
In an unforgiving, barren land.

How do I move forward?
Which way do I go?
I want to take Your hand.
I really want to know.

I want to take a chance,
Yet my fear remains steadfast.
My feet are frozen here.
The grip just seems to last.

Release me from my bonds;
Unbind my fettered legs.
I stand before You pleading;
Your mercy do I beg.

Take me on a journey;
Lead me down a path.
Give me trust to take Your hand.
Give me freedom at last.

~ Carey Dieleman ~
       April 2013

Creamy Chicken & Noodles

For those of you with young children (or spouses with the pallet of a young child), this is a delightfully simple dish that the whole family should enjoy (and did I mention it's cheap?).

2 chicken breasts
2 C chicken broth
1 Tb dried onions
1 (15 oz) can peas (or 1 C frozen peas)
1 (16 oz) pkg wide egg noodles
1 C half & half
2 Tb cornstarch + 2 Tb water (for thickening sauce)

In a medium saucepan, bring broth to a rapid boil. Add chicken and dried onions, reduce to med heat and cook 15+ minutes until the chicken is cooked all the way through. Remove chicken breasts and set aside on a cutting board for 5 minutes to cool a little. Drain about 1 C of broth mixture, keeping the other 1 C in the saucepan. (Try to keep the onions pieces.)

Cook noodles according to package directions. While noodles are cooking, chop or shred the chicken into small pieces. Drain noodles, add chicken & peas.

Place saucepan with broth back on the stove and stir in half&half. Bring to a simmer. Whisk in the cornstarch/water thickening mixture and continue to whisk until sauce reaches desired thickness. Add to noodles/chicken/peas and stir.

Makes: 4 servings
Serve With: butted bread & salad (or just the salad for you carb-conscious adults)